Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Adventures in Hardware


Today I was mentally reviewing what my immediate errands were. As I mapped out my excursion, I realized that so often I find my self in business locations frequented by a variety of people, but not necessarily single women. It seems that many women have overlooked these opportunity spots, or they are not there when I am. For the benefit of guys like myself, and for the women who are looking for guys like me, over the next week (depending upon reader response) I will provide some of the places you should find yourself visiting this weekend to increase your odds of meeting that someone special (or even that someone average…).

Home Depot – Tools are like catnip for men. If Home Depot were to market hardware scent cologne for men, it would sell like gangbusters! I dare suggest that a well-stocked hardware store creates similar euphoria in men, as a Steve Madden shoe store does for women. Not every tool is right for every man, and don’t be fooled by the hype, there IS a specific tool for each job, just as there outfits specific to each type of social event. A man’s tool belt can never sufficiently support all our tools, so that’s why we migrate to tool sacks and tool chests. During any visit, men of all shapes, sizes and intellect meander between the bountiful aisles like a child in a candy store. Seriously though, many single, middle-aged men own/rent homes and by the very nature of being a man, want to repair something. For a woman, you could not pick a better location to meet such a variety of men, in their most natural state of dress and behavior, unlike when you see them in a bar. From a distance, you can size up your prospective mate, and you have plenty of opportunity to move closer without any commitment of discussion/interaction. Hey, coincidences happen. For example, you see a prospective male in the hammer section, so you walk up beside him and you act as if you browsing around for the specific that just happens to be on the shelf that is directly in front of him. In this scenario, lets say it’s a sledgehammer. Initiating a dialogue can be as simple as “Do you prefer the 10lb or 20 lb sledge (learn the lingo)?” See how simple that is? And if he suddenly creeps you out, you need only to drop the 20lb sledge on his foot and run to the next guy.

Ok, this is not a earth shattering suggestion of where to introduce yourself to prospective male suitors, but it’s my way of increasing the opportunity to meet interested women in places that are often overpopulated with men.

DcLc

15 Comments:

At 6:27 AM, Blogger Spin_Doc1 said...

Home Depot rocks! Whenever I am feeling a little insecure I go there and within seconds some one is asking if I need help, and more often than not they don't even work at Home Depot.

 
At 6:37 AM, Blogger Sharkbait said...

I love it. I tried to get a job at Home Depot when I was in college-I don't think I was the right 'fit'. I talked way too much to the men in the store!!

Although I will be making a Home Depot stop this weekend...Maybe I'll go with my girls just for some fun haha

 
At 8:13 AM, Blogger Stef said...

Excellent advice! Got any suggestions on a good cover story for a non-handy, apartment-dwelling girl? I usually only ever need the picture-hanging stuff at Home Depot, and men don't seem to flock to those aisles. :-)

 
At 9:59 AM, Blogger bettyjoan said...

Any other suggestions? Home Depot freaks me out. :-)

 
At 1:46 PM, Blogger DCLastCall said...

Doc - You are so right. You will have to beat them off with a hammer...

SB - Wow, new concept, girls night out at Home Depot. Hmmm. The options are hilarious.

Stef - Go to the lumber section, approach the guy who appears to be the most handsome and well built. Then say something like "I want to build a shelving unit. Can you help me pick out some straight studs?"

BJ - More fun locations to come.

Thanks for the encouragement, I will provide a couple more locations shortly.

DcLc

 
At 2:25 PM, Blogger Complacent Chase said...

I could tell many stories of men that I have "dated" from the Home Depot. DcLC is right. It doesn't matter if the men work there or not...if you are a woman, attractive and look a little confused...they fall over themselves. (sometimes literally)

 
At 2:30 PM, Blogger VP of Dior said...

wow, i've been approaching this all wrong. i need to feign interest in screws just to get screwed. aha!!!

 
At 4:01 PM, Blogger DCLastCall said...

Chase - You hit the nail on the head. If you feign interest, they will play along.

VP - You definetly can find screws and nails for any job and for any length you may be seeking. Nice comment.

DcLc

 
At 8:21 PM, Blogger Stef said...

heh heh. Straight studs. Thanks for the laugh! :-)

 
At 6:49 AM, Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

I am going to have to try this out again, I was spending practically every weekend at Home Depot last year...but actually buying things. Maybe I need to go w/o a real purpose

 
At 11:15 AM, Blogger Sara said...

That's a fantastic point :-)

 
At 1:41 PM, Blogger DC Cookie said...

So I take it you've had a 20 lb. sledge dropped on your feet?

 
At 4:43 PM, Blogger Washington Cube said...

If your sexual pleasures run kinkier, head over to the aisle where they keep the rope and chain.

 
At 9:20 PM, Blogger DCLastCall said...

Cookie - Actually, the worst I experienced was not the sledge hammer, but the "Security Aisle 9".

Cube - Almost mentioned the chains and ropes, but that would be too predictable for me.

DcLc

 
At 4:11 PM, Blogger Kristin said...

Congrats on the DCBlogs shout out. You deserve the recognition.

 

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